List of Things Alec isn't Allowed to Do, Say, or Substitute for Money
by 1seddiefan
Summary: Magnus is called to the Institute to heal Izzy. But Alec isn't there, for some reason. Magnus is bored so he pokes around. He finds a list that Jace, Clary, Isabelle, Simon, Hodge, Maryse and Robert had made. A list of things Alec isn't allowed to do at the Institute. A summer edition is now up, along with the holiday edition. Post COLS.
1. Normal Edition

A/N: This is post-COLS because I haven't read COHF, and I probably won't read it. Plus post COLS one-shots is a lot more fun.

I don't own Mortal instruments.

* * *

Isabelle ended up getting choke-slammed onto some concrete, breaking the concrete, by some poisoned tentacle monster and then poisoned through a cut on her neck. It was described as 'a giant octopus or squid' by Clary. Isabelle wouldn't heal by the healing runes.

It wouldn't have happened if Alec was there. He probably would've been the one injured if he was there. He was the only one that gets injured for a strange reason.

* * *

Magnus finished healing Isabelle and walked in the library. He had to hang around, just in case the poison in Isabelle's veins started back up again. Clary and Jace were by Isabelle's bedside, just in case.

Magnus opened a drawer on the desk and saw a piece of paper titled: Things Alec Isn't Allowed To Do

Magnus had to snort and picked it up. He noticed that it was stapled to another piece of paper.

_It probably says not to read too much or something. _Magnus thought and looked at it.

1. Alec isn't allowed to smash Izzy and Jace's faces into their birthday cakes.

_Even if it is funny? –Hodge_

2. Alec isn't allowed to draw moustaches on our faces when we're asleep.

_Precisely. –Hodge_

_Like a sir. –Maryse_

_Jolly good show. –Robert_

3. Alec isn't allowed to go in our rooms and spray whip cream and cheese in a can on us to wake us up.

4. Alec isn't allowed to have a scissor, knife, and a lighter collection.

_Not after last time. –Maryse_

_Even if it was cool. –Robert_

5. Alec isn't allowed to press knives into people's necks on a hunt.

_God, not like last time. -Hodge_

_Especially not like last time. –Robert_

6. Alec isn't allowed to throw water balloons, frozen water balloons, water balloons filled with whip cream, water balloons filled with cheese in a can, paint balls, and frozen paint balls at people from the balcony.

Magnus stared at the list. He wondered if this was the same person. The same nice, calm, and thoughtful Alec.

_Alec was a troublemaker? This sounds more like Jace._ Magnus thought confused.

7. Alec isn't allowed to bring home cats that are in heat for Church to mate with.

8. Alec isn't allowed near rubber bands.

9. Alec isn't allowed to have posters of bikini clad women in his room.

_He isn't allowed to have posters of women in his room. Period. –Hodge_

10. Alec isn't allowed to have playboys. Or any sort of porn.

_Or put gay porn in the bedroom and accuse me of having them. –Robert_

_Or put them in my room. –Jace_

_Or put 'playgirls' in my room and accuse me of being a lesbian. –Izzy_.

11. Alec isn't allowed to sing 'Clown' to Jace.

_Even if he's a good singer. -Jace_

12. He isn't allowed to say 'pussy' and the 'C-word' when he's insulting someone.

_The 'C-word?' –Alec_

13. Alec isn't allowed to write on this list!

14. Alec isn't allowed to hit Jace in the face with pots and pans.

_Even if I apologized for chipping his tooth? I bought him ice cream. –Alec_

_You ate it! In front of me!–Jace_

_I apologized. Which I never do. –Alec_

_Stop writing on this list! –Robert_

15. Alec isn't allowed to have women strippers in the library.

_Not even if they're for Hodge. –Maryse_

_That sucks. –Hodge_

16. Alec isn't allowed to make bombs. Or get books on bomb making.

_Except on Fourth of Julys. That was actually awesome. –Hodge_

_At least someone appreciates me. –Alec_

_Stop writing on this list! –Maryse_

17. Alec isn't allowed to fill our drawers with whip cream or heated nacho cheese.

18. Alec isn't allowed to be alone in his room with women of supernatural origins, for hours.

_That includes women that are 'normal people.' –Maryse_

_Not even if she's the Seelie Queen. Especially not her. –Hodge_

_Even if Alec has good taste in women? –Robert_

19. Alec isn't allowed to bring women to the Institute.

_This is why I don't have friends. –Alec_

20. Alec isn't allowed to call up hit-men.

21. Alec isn't allowed to try to convince Isabelle and Max that they're adopted because of their different colored eyes.

22. Alec isn't allowed to go to the woods and dance naked in the moonlight.

23. Alec isn't allowed to toss Jace off the balcony and see if he survives.

24. Alec isn't allowed to play 'Booyah.'

25. Alec isn't allowed to lick people's food and say 'I'm just protecting my grub.'

26. Alec isn't allowed to do drugs.

27. Alec isn't allowed to smoke anything.

28. Alec isn't allowed to continue his sentence during a silence.

29. Alec isn't allowed to start food fights during meetings.

_I still have whip cream on the ceiling. –Maryse_

_Oh good. I thought that was something seeping down from Jace's room that Alec caused. –Robert_

_That's coming from Jace's room. Yeah. I caused that. –Alec_

Magnus looked up at the ceiling and noticed a white patch, right above his head. He looked back at the list.

30. Alec isn't allowed to say the following:

1. Rubber band of doom.

2. Strip naked and hope for the best.

3. Die already Jace.

4. This is my grub.

5. Do you want to play 'Booya?'

6. Hey Jace, hold this in front of your face.

7. Do you want to come back to my place?

8. Go to Hell Jace.

9. Go F—yourself.

10. Shut up Jace.

11. Nobody cares Jace.

12. Who wants to play Booya with me?

_Nobody should play Booya with Alec. -Robert_

13. Let's go grave-digging.

14. Feed Jace to the demons.

15. Let's wrestle…naked…in my bed…with me on top.

16. I'll punch you in the ovaries.

17. Nutcracker!

18. Are you interested in BDSM?

19. It reminds me of the Wild Hunt.

21. Let's kill something.

22. I'm waiting for my mother-ship.

23. Mother humper.

24. Blood for the Blood God.

25. Praise Cthulhu.

26. I had sex with *insert current number of women he laid*

_I think the number was five. –Robert_

_No. It was ten. –Alec_

Magnus's eyes widen at the thought of Alec having sex with ten women. _Wait, ten women?_

Magnus forced himself to read on.

31. Alec isn't allowed in the following:

1. Switzerland

2. Sweden

3. Egypt

4. India

5. Russia

6. Vegas

7. Bars

8. Strip clubs for men

9. Maximum prisons

10. Police departments

11. Minimum prisons

12. The cells of Bone City.

32. Alec isn't:

1. A king

2. A queen

_Not even if he dresses in drag. –Jace_

3. Kirk

4. Spock

_Nope. He's not Kirk and Spock. Nope nope nope. –Simon_

5. The ruler of the Clave

6. A Silent Brother

7. Chucky

_Sure he's a little creepy, but he's not murderous. Sort of. –Simon_

8. Hawkeye

_Sure he can use a bow and arrow, but no. Not possible. -Clary_

9. A son of Poseidon

_He might be. That's under investigation. –Maryse_

10. Jesus

11. God

12. The Anti-Christ

12. Son of Jesus

_He's not. Deal with it Alec! -Robert_

13. Son of God

_He's not. I gave birth to him. –Maryse_

14. The son of the Archangel Michael

_He might be. That's under investigation. –Robert_

15. Son of Zeus

16. Son of Hades

17. Son of Death

18. Son of War

19. Son of Pestilence

18. Son of Conquest/Famine

19. _The_ Doctor

_There's no way that's possible. -Clary_

20. Part of the Wild Hunt

21. Son of Odin

22. Son of Loki

23. Son of Thor

_21, 22, and 23 isn't possible. -Simon_

24. Brother/Son of Hawkeye

_Even if he can hit any target...backwards...with his eyes closed. –Simon_

31. Alec isn't allowed to pay for something using the following:

1. His soul

2. Anybody's souls

3. Redheads

4. Virgin blood

5. Vampire's teeth

6. Reproductive organs

7. Human hearts

8. Demon hearts

9. Dragon hearts

10. Vampire hearts

11. Faerie hearts

12. Any other supernatural creature's hearts

13. Lobsters

14. Virginity

15. Anal virginity

16. Ear virginity

_Ear virginity? -Simon_

17. Naval virginity

_I don't even want to know. –Clary_

18. Jace

19. Isabelle

20. Clary

21. Simon

22. Robert

23. Maryse

24. Sebastian/Jonathan

25. The Seelie Queen

26. Tears

27. Tears from children

28. Gold

29. Animals

30. Firstborn Children

31. Secondborn children

32. Younger kids

33. Heroin

34. Drugs

35. Cocaine

36. Pornography

37. Pandora's Box

_That exists? –Simon_

38. Parents

39. Grandparents

40. Sisters

41. Brothers

42. Step-siblings

43. The weird kid on the block that eats mayo on salty wheat crackers that no one likes.

44. Nasal Virginity

_I'm not even going to ask. -Izzy_

_Or think about. -Jace_

_No matter what, no matter under circumstances, Alec is not allowed to do any of these things, say these things, and aren't allowed in any of these places. _

_No matter how much Alec tells you and backed up with proof, he isn't any of these things. If number 9 and 14 gets out, Alec might be in serious danger._

_Alec isn't allowed to play 'Booya.' Ask Jace, Robert, and Isabelle for clarification on why not._

_Ask Jace for clarification on why Alec isn't allowed to shout Nutcracker!_

_Don't ask why Alec tries to pay for things trying to use the above list._

_Written by: _

_Hodge, Robert, and Maryse._

_Jace and Isabelle_

_Clary_

_Simon_

* * *

"So you found that list too?" Clary asked, as she entered the library.

"Is this thing fake?" Magnus asked.

"No. I asked Jace, Izzy, Robert, and Maryse. He really did do and said those things. I still don't know what Booya is. Jace and Izzy won't tell me." Clary asked.

The library opened and Alec ran in, looking excited. He was holding rocks, "Hey Clary. Do you want to play Booya with me?" He grinned.

"Don't even think about it!" Maryse shouted from somewhere.

Alec looked disappointed. "Okay." He said sadly, he turned and left the library.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, this is my longest one-shot. It's just a random list. I got the idea from a web-site, but I switched it up a lot.

I mean there must be a reason why Alec seems so boring.

I got bored and was thinking about some lists that I remember reading on fanfiction.

The women thing happened Pre-City of Bones.

Also, Clown is an actual song by a band called KoRn.


	2. Holiday Edition

A/N: I wasn't planning on making another chapter because it was a one-shot. I got to thinking, what about a list of things Alec isn't allowed to do during holidays. So here you go. It's probably not as funny as the first one.

* * *

Since Isabelle was still under medical care, due to the attack. The poison in her veins had kicked back in, so Magnus had to heal her. Alec had vanished again.

_Probably to screw some woman. _Magnus thought bitterly has he and Clary poked around in the library, hoping to find another list of things Alec isn't allowed to do.

Clary found a sheet of paper that's stapled to another sheet of paper.

"Hey, I found something." Clary said and Magnus was instantly at her side.

It was titled: Things Alec Isn't Allowed To Do: Holiday Edition

_Really? There's a holiday edition? –Alec_

_Yes. –Maryse_

_Fine. –Alec_

1. Alec isn't allowed to hide plastic eggs in the backyard, wake up Isabelle and Max and have them search for them at four in the morning.

_Those were buried. Under three feet of snow. Covered with a tarp. Covered with broken glass and bricks. –Isabelle_

_By the way, you haven't found the other two. –Alec_

2. Alec isn't allowed near the eggnog in the grocery aisle.

3. Alec isn't allowed near the eggnog at the Christmas parties.

_I don't need another repeat of the 'Bathroom Incident.' -Maryse_

4. Alec isn't allowed near the fireworks.

5. Alec isn't allowed to have 'tracers.'

6. Alec isn't allowed near 'AK-47s'.'

7. Alec isn't allowed to shoot off AK-47s with tracers.

_Even though that was actually awesome. -Robert_

8. Alec isn't allowed to make bottle rockets.

9. Alec isn't allowed to be outside during Halloween.

_Hey. That wasn't my fault. –Alec_

_Yes it was. –Robert_

_But it was free candy. –Alec_

_Still. –Maryse _

10. Alec isn't allowed to knock out Jace and dress him up as Baby New Year.

11. Alec isn't allowed to give people expired chocolate.

12. Alec isn't allowed to pour melted chocolate in our drawers.

13. Alec isn't allowed to reenact the Boston Tea Party during Thanksgiving.

_Why not? –Alec_

_That didn't take place during Thanksgiving! –Isabelle_

_So? What day am I supposed to dress up like an Native American? Easter? –Alec_

14. Alec isn't allowed to bring home a woman of supernatural origins on Valentine's Day.

_That includes a 'normal person.' –Maryse_

_Ruin my fun will you? –Alec_

_Yes I will. –Maryse_

15. Alec isn't allowed to bring home a woman of supernatural origins on St. Patrick's Day, in hopes of getting lucky because it's St. Patrick's Day.

_Well, you didn't say St. Patrick's Day. –Alec_

_We're saying it now. –Robert_

16. Alec isn't allowed to go as himself during Halloween.

17. Alec isn't allowed to run into our rooms and throw figgy pudding at us, to wake us up.

18. Alec isn't allowed to catch the Christmas trees on fire, for science.

19. Alec isn't allowed to wrap Isabelle, Max, or Jace up in garland and then attach them to the wall in a reenactment of 'the Crucifix.'

_You guys suck then. -Alec_

20. Alec isn't allowed to call off a hunt due to it being a 'Holiday' and that he needs a 'day-off.'

_Well I do. -Alec_

21. Alec isn't allowed to shoot some woman with an arrow in hopes of getting her to fall in love with him.

22. Alec isn't allowed near women during Valentine's Day.

_Alec isn't allowed near women at all. Period. –Maryse_

_What? You guys want me to die alone? –Alec_

_That's not what I meant. –Maryse_

23. Alec isn't allowed in bars during St. Patrick's Day.

_Alec isn't allowed in bars. Period. –Robert_

24. Alec isn't allowed to invite the Seelie Queen in his room during Valentine's Day.

_Or St. Patrick's Day. –Maryse_

_Or every day. –Robert_

_Alec isn't allowed near the Seelie Queen. Period. –Maryse_

_Seriously? You all want me to die alone or something? –Alec_

25. Alec isn't allowed to hold fireworks while lighting them.

_Nobody isn't supposed to hold the fireworks __while lighting them. –Jace_

26. Alec isn't allowed to throw fireworks into crowds.

_Nobody isn't allowed to do that. –Izzy_

27. Alec isn't allowed to have Chinese fireworks.

_Nobody isn't allowed to have Chinese fireworks. –Jace_

28. Alec isn't allowed to shoot off 'bottle rockets.'

_Seriously? How does he know how to make this stuff? –Robert_

_That's for me to know and for you to find out. –Alec_

29. Alec isn't allowed to dress up like the Grim Reaper and stand on the highway and point at cars.

_Isn't that illegal? –Izzy_

30. Alec isn't allowed to dress up like Freddy Kruger or Jason Voorhees or Chucky.

_You all take away the good stuff. –Alec_

31. Alec isn't allowed to convince Isabelle to dress up like the Wicked Witch and throw water on her to see if she 'melts'.

32. Alec isn't allowed to make Jace dress up like cupid.

33. Alec isn't allowed to dress up like a leprechaun.

34. Alec isn't allowed to convince Max or Isabelle that they're on the 'naughty list' by saying that he is friends with Santa Claus.

35. Alec isn't allowed to make a fake rabbit and cover it with blood, and tell little kids that he slayed the 'Easter Bunny' to see their reactions.

_That's messed up. –Jace_

_Really messed up. –Maryse_

"That really is messed up." Clary said. Magnus had to agree with that.

36. Alec isn't allowed to use the tubes of Christmas wrapping paper to sword-fight.

37. Alec isn't allowed to use the giant candy canes to sword-fight with.

38. Alec isn't allowed near Christmas decorations.

39. Alec isn't allowed to go near the Christmas lights.

40. Alec isn't allowed to pour whip cream on us to stimulate melted snow.

41. Alec isn't allowed to throw snowballs in the Institute.

42. Alec isn't allowed to say the following:

1. Okay, this is like the Last Supper, who dies first? I nominate Jace.

_Why does Alec have a grudge against me? What did I do? –Jace._

2. Since I'm Irish, would you come with to my place?

3. I know what we should do for *insert your choice of holiday*

4. Let's reenact the Death of John Wilkes Booth.

5. I nominate Jace as John Wilkes Booth.

6. Deck the 'Balls'

7. Can we put Jace up as a Halloween decoration?

8. Can we crucifix Jace?

Clary and Magnus looked at each other.

"What did Jace do that caused Alec to hate him?" Magnus asked.

"No. Alec had a crush on Jace." Clary said, a little confused.

They went back to reading the list.

9. If Jace dies, can we make it a holiday?

_What did I do? –Jace_

10. Hey Jace. Go to talk to some little kids.

11. Hey Jace. Let's reenact the shower scene in Psycho.

12. Due to Valentine's Day, we should sacrifice someone to make Cupid happy. I nominate Jace.

13. To protect ourselves from the ghosts of Halloween, we need a sacrifice. I nominate Jace.

14. We should throw Jace to the leprechauns on St. Patrick's Day.

15. Hey, let's have a sword with *insert choice of Christmas decoration*

16. Let me jingle your bells.

17. I hope that jingled your bells.

18. Can I wrap this garland around you?

19. Ho ho ho. Bitch.

20. Since we're both on the nice list, can we act naughty one time? Together? I prefer with me on top.

21. Can I take you for a sleigh ride?

22. Let's have some fun in the snow.

23. Let it snow!

24. Did grandma ever get run over by a reindeer?

25. I want you to get run over by a reindeer Jace.

26. Go get run over by a reindeer Jace.

27. Jace should dress up like the New Year's Eve baby. He already acts like it.

"Seriously. Why does Alec hate Jace so much?" Magnus asked.

"The douche bag stole my girlfriend. Probably on purpose too." Alec said and he grabbed the list from Clary's hands.

"I thought you had a crush on him." Clary said.

"No. I was just glaring at him because I hated him. I still hate him." Alec said.

"You slept with ten women? Possibly the Seelie Queen." Clary said.

"It's called bisexuality. Did you hear of it?" Alec said. He turned to leave.

"Did you sleep with the Seelie Queen?" Magnus said.

"You probably did." Alec said going to the door. "Besides that's for my family to know and for you to find out."

Clary rolled her eyes and turned around. The next thing she knew was that she got hit in the small of her back with something hard. The thing clattered to the ground.

"Booya!" Alec shouted in victory. "I win."

"Goddamn it Alec! What did we say?" Maryse shouted from somewhere in the Institute.

Alec mumbled something as he left the library.

Magnus picked up the rock and looked at it. "Oh. So that's what 'Booya' is."

* * *

A/N: Like I said, I wasn't on planning to make this a two-shot, but I got to thinking about the stuff my older brother Eddie was talking about yesterday when we were watching the fireworks. But then this came out of it.

He was talking about the AK-47, the tracers, and the AK-47 with tracers.

My other older brother David was talking about how the fireworks would've been launched into the crowd to make it like 'Wrestlemania 24 all over again' and then throw fireworks into the crowd.

Now you know why Alec hates Jace. But this is my fanon, not the canon.

Happy Fourth of July.


	3. Summer Edition

A/N: This was originally a two-shot, but this now is three chapters.

This probably won't be half as funny as the other two chapters.

This chapter is for WaterFairyJuvia, who asked me to make a summer edition.

I hope you'll enjoy this.

* * *

Magnus had left, because Isabelle had gotten better. The poison had completely flushed out of her system, but she was still unconscious.

Jace and Alec was in the infirmary looking over her, so Clary was free to roam the library all she wanted. Clary's back was still sore from getting hit by a rock. Now she knew why Isabelle, Jace, and Robert never told her what Booya is; or at least never mentioned it.

Clary opened a drawer in another desk and noticed something titled, List of Things Alec Isn't Allowed To Do: Summer Edition.

_Now we have a summer edition? –Alec_

_Yes we do. –Maryse_

_Why? –Alec_

1. Alec isn't allowed to attempt to drown Jace in a lake.

2. Alec isn't allowed to attempt to drown Jace in a shower.

_Oh please. I saw nothing important. –Alec_

3. Alec isn't allowed to attempt to drown Jace with an ice cube tray.

_How? –Isabelle_

4. Alec isn't allowed to stuff sand down people's clothes.

5. Alec isn't allowed to go to the beach to scope out some 'babes.'

_Do you people want me to die alone? –Alec_

6. Alec isn't allowed to throw seaweed at people.

7. Alec isn't allowed to tie someone up with seaweed.

8. Alec isn't allowed to tie his girlfriend up with seaweed.

_What makes you think I do that? –Alec_

_Explain the smell of seaweed in your room. –Robert_

8. Alec isn't allowed to choke someone with seaweed.

9. Alec isn't allowed to kill Jace with seaweed.

10. Alec isn't allowed to pop beach balls.

11. Alec isn't allowed to somehow fill beach balls with whip cream, nacho cheese, sour cream, ice, and seaweed.

12. Alec isn't allowed to somehow start up a game of naked beach volley ball.

_Well, there goes my fun. -Alec_

13. Alec isn't allowed to eat up all the ice cream.

_But the ice cream is good. –Alec_

14. Alec isn't allowed to put sand on our beds.

15. Alec isn't allowed to fill our pillow cases with seaweed.

16. Alec isn't allowed to fill our pillow cases with sand.

17. Alec isn't allowed to wrap people up with volley ball nets.

18. Alec isn't allowed to lay out 'seaweed traps.'

19. Alec isn't allowed to throw eggs at people.

20. Alec isn't allowed to move people's beach towels to another spot.

_Really? That's on the list? –Alec_

_Yes. That's on the list. –Maryse_

21. Alec isn't allowed to throw seaweed on people and claim that's a sea monster.

22. Alec isn't allowed to throw smoothies and ice cream at people.

23. Alec isn't allowed to capture crabs and let them loose in the Institute.

_By the way, there's four missing. –Alec_

_Oh my god! –Izzy._

_I think I just saw one! –Jace_

24. Alec isn't allowed to fill a bag of starfish and drop it on Jace.

25. Alec isn't allowed to drop a bag of sea water of Jace.

26. Alec isn't allowed to bury himself in sand and steal other people's food.

27. Alec isn't allowed to fill cars up with sand.

28. Alec isn't allowed to fill cars up seaweed.

29. Alec isn't allowed to fill cars up with starfish.

30. Alec isn't allowed to fish at the beach.

31. Alec isn't allowed to cover cars with seaweed.

32. Alec isn't allowed to have a pet pelican.

_But they're adorable. –Alec_

33. Alec isn't allowed to start a mud wrestling match.

34. Alec isn't allowed to try to sneak into the girls' restroom.

_That wasn't me. –Alec_

_Really? –Robert_

_I wasn't near the restrooms. I was at the snack bar. –Alec_

_Huh. –Maryse_

35. Alec isn't allowed to throw cotton candy at women to see if it sticks to them.

36. Alec isn't allowed to have a pet sea lion.

_They're adorable. –Alec_

_They kind of are. –Jace_

_Shut up Jace. –Alec_

Clary had to roll her eyes at that.

37. Alec isn't allowed to try to tame a shark.

38. Alec isn't allowed to have sex on a beach.

_Nobody's allowed to do that. –Maryse_

_That wasn't me, either. –Alec_

_Really? Are you sure? –Robert_

_I was at the pier at the time. –Alec_

_Interesting. –Robert_

39. Alec isn't allowed to have sword fights with sticks.

40. Alec isn't allowed to sneak into concerts.

41. Alec isn't allowed to pour smoothies on people.

42. Alec isn't allowed to buy all the ice cream in a store.

43. Alec isn't allowed to stand in the middle of the aisle in a store.

44. Alec isn't allowed to crawl into the frozen food freezer in the store.

45. Alec isn't allowed to stay overnight at a store.

46. Alec isn't allowed to say:

1. Hey Jace let's practice our rescuing techniques.

2. I can't swim.

3. Why are you wearing your Halloween mask?

4. Let's go to the beach.

5. Seaweed of doom

4. Take off your bikini.

5. Can I have a pet sea lion?

6. Can I have a shark?

7. Let's play in the sand.

8. Here hold this starfish.

9. Which one is your car?

10. Can I push you off the Statue of Liberty to see if you survive?

11. Let's climb the Statue of Liberty.

12. I'm on a day-off.

13. How long can you hold your breath?

14. Can I throw you in the ocean?

15. What does your bathing suit look like?

16. Let's go skinny dipping.

17. Can I have a pelican?

18. How about a turtle then?

47. Alec isn't allowed to attempt to use the following as money:

1. Seaweed

2. Sand

3. A bikini

4. Chains

5. Smoothies

6. Candles

7. Starfish

8. Fish

9. Part of the pier

10. Fishing rods

11. Worms

12. Beach balls

13. Volley ball nets

14. A random half naked woman

15. Beach sand

16. A planet

17. Pluto

18. The sun

19. Sea lions

20. Turtles

21. Sharks

22. Pelicans

23. The beach

24. Stars

25. Constellations

26. The galaxy

27. Canadian bacon

28. Canadian geese

29. A Fourth of July hate

30. A knife collection

31. School desks

32. 1800s school desks

Clary rolled her eyes and looked the pieces of paper. Some of the stuff Alec did sounded fun. She couldn't figure out why his parents forbidden him to doing that stuff in the first place. She can understand that some of the stuff was horrible, but some of it sounded rather harmless.

Jace walked in and noticed Clary.

"What are you looking at?" Jace asked.

"Just this list of things that Alec isn't allowed to do." Clary said and looked at it.

"Oh yeah. Which one is it? The holiday edition or the summer edition?" Jace asked.

"The summer one. Alec took the holiday one away from me." Clary said.

"Oh yeah. Alec sure hates me. Enough to attempt to drown me in the ice cub tray." Jace said.

"How?" Clary asked.

"Don't ask." Jace replied.

Clary looked thoughtful, "Hey, what's up with Alec and BDSM?"

"It's just something that I think he's into." Jace said.

"What's that?" Clary asked.

"I think it has to do with...it's...I think..." Jace trailed off. "I think you should ask Alec to explain. He knows more about it than me."

* * *

A/N: Sorry this one is a lot shorter than the other two. I kind of started running out of ideas again.

I have this other idea for a fanfic, that I'm trying to figure how to get it started and some subplots. The thing is I don't even have a title for it. It's an Alec/femOC fanfic.

I was thinking of seaweed, because it's a funny word.

I'm not entirely sure if this will be the last chapter or not.


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